With more than a billion options on the market, it’s important to think about exactly what you want to do with a dildo before handing over your credit card. “You need to have a clear idea of what you’re going to use it for before you pick one up,” says Pleasure-Based, Queer-Inclusive Sex Educator and Advocate Lateef Taylor. “It will make a huge difference in how it feels.”
In simplest terms, dildos are sex toys that can be put into the mouth, anus, vagina, or butthole for sexual stimulation. They don’t necessarily look like penises (though some do), and they come in a variety of materials, shapes, and sizes. Some are curved for prostate or g-spot stimulation, and there’s even a dildo that attaches to the tongue and can be used for oral sex.
Though dildos are commonly used for masturbation, they can also be used for partnered play and for anal penetration, especially if the user has a lot of experience with the toy. They’re often made from hard, durable materials that can withstand repeated insertions and are easy to clean. In addition to being hygienic and easy to use, the right type of dildo can increase pleasure and help you explore different aspects of your body.
Historically, men’s dildos were made of metal or wood, while women’s were typically made from glass, porcelain, and stone. The earliest evidence of a dildo-like object was discovered in a cave in Germany’s Hohle Fels, dating back to 28,000 years ago, and some historians believe that they were intended as phallic symbols for fertility rituals. It’s not clear how dildos got their name, but linguists suggest that it could be from the English word “diddle” or Italian ‘diletto’, both of which mean ‘pleasure’ or ‘hobby.
The dildo is an essential sexual tool for many people, but it’s important to practice safe use, especially when using a dildo with a partner. For example, it’s best to avoid insertion unless you’re sure your partner is ready for it, and if the dildo isn’t thoroughly washed between uses, it can lead to STI transmission.
In gay male culture, dildos are viewed as outsized representations of penises that can be used to penetrate repeatedly or left in place, much like a butt plug, another type of sex toy. Lesbian cultures have a more complicated relationship with dildos that can be influenced by feminist anxieties about the relation between lesbian gender roles and sexuality to heterosexuality. In addition, there’s a certain amount of anxiety about whether or not dildos look like penises and a concern that they might be seen as interchangeable. That’s partly why there is more aversion to double-ended dildos in lesbian culture.